Nanowrimo 2009

Well that's pretty much it.  Time to throw in the towel.  In order to win this soul sucking, time consuming, motivation destroying competition (is it really a competition?) I would have to write about 48000 words by Monday.  That's just not going to happen.

I could not get motivated or inspired this year.  It's pretty much the same song every year so I'm not all that surprised.  I had a decent first chapter -- or so I thought -- and then nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  It could be lack of preparation or just lack of talent.  The world may never know.

Nanowrimo 2009

I should be at around 20000 words by now.  I am currently sitting at 2619.  That's around 1/10th of where I should be.  Phew.  This writing stuff is kind of difficult.

Nanowrimo 2009

Participating in Nanowrimo again this year.  So far I'm just below 500 words and it's the first full weekend.  According to Chris Baty - the guru behind the whole endeavor - I should be at around 15000 words by now.

I have alot of catching up to do.

Nanowrimo 2009

Soon I will be embarking upon the time consuming, mind numbing, and soul sucking journey that is the annual Nanowrimo schlogg. If you haven’t heard of Nanowrimo –National Novel Writing Month – it’s a magical time that occurs every year in November when sun deprived “artistes” huddle around their laptops in dorm rooms, home offices, and Starbucks around the country and bang out the Great American Novel in jumbled sentences and mixed metaphors.

The point of Nanowrimo is to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days.  If you make that goal you win.  That’s an average of 1666.67 words per day.  Needless to say, I have never won.

But Nanowrimo is not a competition.  The only person against whom you compete is yourself and you are your worst enemy.  In fact, there haven’t actually been any prizes in the past.  This year they’ve introduced a soft bound copy of the winners’ novels.  That’ll be a wonderful keepsake complete with 15,000 “and”s in a row and a complete recitation of the Constitution – twice.

Move Your Butt!!

Why are tickets to watch your favorite major sports franchise so expensive?  Is it the greedy players demanding huge contracts or is it the greedy owners who give in and pay those contracts then turn around and raise ticket prices to finance their new star player?

No, sports fans, it’s you.  It’s your fault and the time has come for you to do something about it or get off the field.

You see, we live in a market economy.  Everything is priced to what the market will bear. Look at the housing market.  Lots of people bought houses so the prices went up.  Now that not so many people are on the market, the price for rancher has plummeted.  Look around, I’m not lying.  Watch the news, you’ll see.  Supply and demand,  it makes our economy run.

On topic, if people are willing to pay $75 for a bleacher seat to a preseason game, that’s what owners will charge.  If people are willing to shell out $10 for a beer and $5 for a tiny hot dog, that’s what the concession stand is going to make you pay.  The sports world is not immune from market forces; in fact, it lives and dies by them.  Just ask the Phoenix Coyotes.

You can’t blame the players for this situation.  They live in the same market economy as you and me.  They, or more accurately, their agents, know that the owners want to win.  To win, they need to have the best players.  To get the best players they will pay through the nose or their top draft pick will hold out for the entire season if need be.  The players have the supply and the owners have the demand.  The owners will pay and the players will take.  Would you do any different if you could get $18 million per year for five years when you were 22 years old? 

The owners are greedy.  That’s not much of a debate.  They’ll charge and charge and charge.  Look how much it costs just to see a preseason game that means nothing or how much it costs for parking a mile away from the stadium.  It’s ridiculous.  They charge these huge amounts because, just like the players, they know what the market will bear.  Currently the market bears huge amounts that sports fans do little more than bitch about.

So take responsibility for your own actions.  Either stop paying these huge amounts or shut the hell up and get out your wallet.  Stop going to the games.  Stop buying their merchandise.  Stop watching Monday Night Football.  Just stop. 

Sports fans have only one negotiating tool: their butts.  By refusing to put your butt in their seat, you can change the situation.  The owners, the payers, the networks, all of them will only understand that the power is finally out of their hands when you finally decide that your butt is not theirs. 

At Least Say Thank You, Rush

Rush Limbaugh should get on his knees, pucker up, close his eyes, and kiss President Obama’s ass.  By simply getting elected president, Barack Obama has single handedly revived Rush’s career. 

In the 90’s, when Rush got his radio and television shows, there was a Democrat in the White House.  Bill and Hillary’s failings and foibles provided the perfect foil against which Rush railed.  He wrote books, chaired Republican get togethers, and made millions.  People actually respected him.

When George Bush was elected in 2000, the Republicans brought Rush along to perform his dog and pony show in lock step with the administration.  He became a mouthpiece for an administration suffering declining popularity as its foreign and domestic agenda became less and less popular with the American people.  His ratings dropped and the only news he made was when he got caught chewing Oxycontin like they were Skittles. 

Then Obama entered the fray for president.  Rush tapped into, and created, the fear that his own constituency was feeling.  An outsider was running for President.  A Democrat.  A black guy.  For Christ sakes, the guy might not have even been born in this country.  Rush’s radio show was once again a hit now that he had another arch enemy. 

Come on, Rush.  Give credit where credit is due.  Send Obama a fruit basket or something to show your gratitude.

Glenn Beck is the AntiChrist

Everybody knows that Glenn Beck is bat-shit insane.  His nightly ramblings about vast Left-Wing conspiracies, rampant racism in the White House, and illegal aliens are becoming so routine that not only are his critics beginning to tune out but so are his constituents.  In the short one year that his show has been on the Fox News Channel, he has become a parody of himself.  Stephen Colbert couldn’t have done a better job.

That is all well and good but did you know that Glenn Beck is the Anti-Christ?

That’s right.  Glenn Beck is the spawn of Satan, wrought upon the earth to lead his followers into the flames of hellfire and bring about the coming apocalypse.  It’s been supposition for a long time by his detractors but the evidence is mounting to turn a half baked theory into a fully cooked pie-fact.

It is said that the anti-Christ will be a charismatic leader who take control of the most powerful media or the day.  Television and Youtube definitely fall into this category and Beck dominates them both.  He must be charismatic to be able to control such widespread and respected mediums such as these.  His show outdraws viewers from all the news-related shows in his timeslot, making him the king of late night crazy-talk.

His eyes are hypnotizing.  Beck did an entire episode of his show with his eyes plastered to the screen.  It was a split shot with his eyes in one part of the screen and the rest of his body in the rest.  He said it was because commentators never “look you in the eye” but I know it’s because he was trying to hypnotize his audience.  Learned from his father the devil, this ability was probably honed during the time he spent in a Haitian peyote den (it’s true, look it up).  Beck can make people do as he pleases by peering into their eyes and taking control of their souls.  His powerful voodoo makes you do what you do.  I’m looking at you, Shawn Hannity.

It’s this ability that makes his viewers do whatever he asks.  Stand up in town hall meetings and yell at the speakers!  They do it.  March on Washington and demand nobody in America eat grilled cheese sandwiches!  They do it.  His supporters are soulless and slobbering zombies.

Fortunately for humanity, Beck is not a very good anti-Christ.  He must be the son of the devil that enjoyed playing with dolls when his brothers were out playing football with real feat or scoring with a succubus.  I assume Adam Sandler would play him if a movie was ever made of his life.

You see, Beck is losing followers, which means that his mojo is wearing off.  Maybe he’s not showing his hypnotizing eyes enough.  Maybe he’s distracted by all the guilty pleasures that fame has brought him.  Maybe he just has a short attention span and forgot, in his peyote induced haze, why he was originally brought to earth to accomplish.  He should be ruling the earth by now but his sponsors are already bailing on him.  He is going to have to pull out of his high and do something quick to retain the followers he now has.

So, in conclusion.  Glenn Beck:  Insane, Incompetent, Inhuman.

Well Hello There!

Well hello there!

Glad you could stop by and spend a moment or two in my little corner of the web. There's not much to see here as of yet but one day this spot will be the epicenter of everything that's happening on the 'net.  When news breaks, this is where everybody go to pick up the pieces, reassemble the story, then pick apart every last tidbit of information as the glue dries.  Yes, this spot is gonna be huge!

You know what?  I'm just kidding.  This spot is only gonna be as big as I make it.  With my complete lack of motivation, that's not gonna be very big.  Even so, I'll try to make it as entertaining as possible for as long as possible.

Again, thanks for stopping by.  Hope to hear from you again real soon!

Kevo